The Power of Saying Less

Words don’t take us as far as we think.

It has taken me years to realize the power of saying less. I’m a good talker. I enjoy it. But I’ve had to face the fact that in persuading other people, very little is accomplished through the force of words.

From the listeners standpoint, I’ve come to realize that a few words go a long way; a lot of words make the journey seem very long. If you want people to think you’re smart, don’t jabber away. We tend to do this when we feel insecure, filling the dead air with our words.

He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. Proverbs 17:27-28

So if we’re not supposed to talk, how do we get people to buy into our idea? According to Harvard Business Review author Kimberly Elsbach, they’re not so much buying into our idea as they’re buying into us. In her article How to Pitch a Brilliant Idea, Elsbach uses the Hollywood screenwriting pitch as an example. While much of the article is spent giving excellent advice on the words and delivery of the pitch, Elsbach says people form their judgments from a variety of factors not dependent on words:

We all like to think that people judge us carefully and objectively on our merits. But the fact is, they rush to place us into neat little categories – they stereotype us… And they’re going to do it really fast. So the first thing to realize when you’re preparing to make a pitch to strangers is that your audience is going to put you in a box. And they’re going to do it really fast. Research suggests that humans can categorize others in 150milliseconds. Within 30 minutes, they’re made lasting judgments about your characters.

Elsbach goes on to talk about different stereotypes that pitchers are grouped into, and how to use those stereotypes to your own advantage. Like most human beings, the people receiving the pitch believe that creative types posses common traits. They include unconventionality, intuitiveness, sensitivity, narcissism, passion, youth and a fashion sense that encapsulates them all. One of the quickest way for us to bust that stereotype and disappoint their expectations is to jabber endlessly. It’s not about saying nothing. It’s about realizing that what we say isn’t everything.

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