At a press conference today at the G20 economic summit, world leaders unveiled the car of the future. Termed the “gCar” or Green Car, President Obama hailed the breakthrough as a major step forward in “making the United States independent from foreign oil and revitalizing our national auto industry”, fulfilling major promises of his 2008 political campaign. He also took the opportunity to announce a technology cooperative with Russia and China , saying…

This is proof that the socialist nations of the world have much to offer America in our time of need.

President Obama was also quick to extoll the technology breakthroughs of the gCar including the one horsepower engine, which promises near continuous energy for up to 10 hours at time. A “fuel collector” upgrade feature will be available, to remove the engine’s emissions for use in fertilization or the home compost pile. Fuel subsidies will be available from government distribution centers in the form of hay and oats.

America’s consumerist mentality…

When asked about advanced forms of the gCar technology, such as the two-horse model already in use in development by Mercedes and BMW, the President chastened the reporter, saying…

America must change its consumerist mentality. Government experts have determined the one-horse model is the ideal for our workers. Any more will overburden our delicate infrastructure. Let’s not forget we’re in a crisis here.

When asked about other possible drawbacks, including lack of top speed of the one-horse version, the President was quick to point out that speedy transportation is a classist tool that would no longer be used to oppress the poor.

I hope you all got a kick out of that — my attempt at an “Onion” style article. The best Onion articles are the ones that almost seem possible. We have so much absurdity in our culture, some harmless and some dangerous. And there is nothing more absurd than the fact half the population of America is looking to the government and its leaders to preserve a standard of living built with a free market.

I am not aware of a single example of a government program or initiative that has advanced our nation’s economy. Free markets have proven themselves over and over building a standard of living that has benefited hundred of millions of people throughout the world. Did the government mandate the phone, the lightbulb, the airplane, movies, the Mac? No. Capitalists did, motivated by personal gain. Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Louis B. Mayer, Steve Jobs were all motivated by the opportunity to profit in a free market. The great irony is, if they didn’t meet a need, they would not profit. Thus, the needs of the “people” drive innovation, not the dictates of a government planner. Who will buy the one-horse gCar, or its equivalent from Washington’s central planners? Nobody, unless they regulate out the good stuff. Ever see the cars from the Soviet Union?

Our hope should be in ourselves and God, not the government. It is not time to abandon  the great experiment that started in 1776.

A good question to ask yourself, “What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?” I doubt few will answer… “my government.”